Tuesday, August 26, 2014

...I am not that Lucky...

09-25-14 (journal[?])


I would first like to point out that I am typing this on a
 QWERTY keyboard that is NOT pressure sensitive, the iPad, great machine, but I find it to be one of my own faults to be that  it is much harder to type on a completely flat screen than it is to type on a normal keyboard.
But it is the way we've been groomed growing up I suppose.

Either way. I suppose the real reason I am writing this is to vent a bit. First. I feel like I am getting older too fast. I'm not saying that I am "old" ...I am saying that if feels as though I one day woke up and I was 25, 
I can remember bits and pieces of it, but it all seems sort or blurry.

Either way. For the first time ever, i'am becoming nostalgic for my High SChool days...and I feel ridiculous for it.
So in my search of nostalgia  remnants of High School I began Messaging a girl I was good friends with in High School named ----- I'll spare you the boredom of the entire story, but I will explain that she (at one time) liked me, ----- had a boyfriend, who was a good friend of mine, so I kept my distance. 
I mean, I really liked -----... But I knew she liked me, more than a friend, so I told her that we couldn't be together and whether or not we were together, she should explain to her Boyfriend that she liked me. We each went our own ways after graduation. I heard that she had an eating disorder or something at some point of college. In which I thought that calling to make sure she was alright would be smart...but it would also be hypocritical since I knew that the reason she was acting out May have something to do with me. And I didn't even shake up that beehive. 

So tonight I struck up a conversation online a and I she told me she was married, I knew already. And I am guessing that she said something about her liking me in high school, because he no longer wanted her to speak to me. On one hand I am sort of mad because I didn't have any sexual....ANYTHING built up inside of me for Kelsi. But on the other hand, kelsi is a greAt person, and would be amazing to spend the rest of your life with... But I am not that lucky...