Saturday, January 31, 2015


my family is pretty disfunctional.
I don't know if it is the norm to be at this level, or if it is strange because people normally don't air out thier dirty laundry
ah well, we willl see.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Church Peepole(?) {rant-rant-rant}

tonight i went to a LifeGroup put on by the Church I go to. I used to attend another LifeGroup for a slightly younger group.(though I was never actually sure if it was a younger crowd...I might have been the same age grouping, just a different group- it doesn't have too much relevance either way.) After listening to people talking in the group I began thinking about people, when they want something...Like, some people don't pray to God, go to Church or do anything, unless they are in trouble, or Need some sort of "help" (whatever that may be) though, by the same thinking- your not going to use a hammer if you don't need it... -also, I know no more than the next human here on Earth, so take everything I am saying with a grain of salt because I (obviously) know no more than anyone else... I am just someone who is recording a theory, and you can take it, or leave it.- There are a few people that everyone has [at least] met. ya know; those 'holier than thou' assholes..? ...those people that are the biggest assholes during 5/6 of the week, but on Sunday, they are 'peachy keen' Those are the type of people I started thinking about; It's almost like they go through their week being assholes, then they go on Sunday to 'renew' their 'sin card' in which they go out into the world after the service and can go be assholes some more. At some point people can look at this situation and think that these 'types of people' (and I really don't know if anyone who thinks like this attends The Cause, but I wouldn't put it past Any Church, seeing that these type of people are EVERYWHERE, so, you cannot escape them, you can only be concerned with your stuff and "Keep On Keep'n On." [where was I going with this?] well, I was thinking that normally people would get angry at this and think "oh! THOSE kind of people! I hate THEM!" because {even if if tell this reference to someone who does this} they won't Admit to it. they always think it is someone else. And then I was thinking that I shouldn't really look down on anyone who judges others for doing dumb crap because Jesus was prosecuted by the church for being around whores and murderers, people were getting mad because Jesus was hanging around whore houses (and other such places) and people were getting confused that Jesus wasn't teaching those who seeked his wisdom/power etc... it was because those {unsavory} individuals are the ones who needed Jesus. - can't remember...where the Heck was I going with this? ..OH YEAH!... ...Stay out of My Booze!

Saturday, October 25, 2014


I THOUGHT that I would write something on this ma-jigg while someone (anyone) is still reading it... ...not that it matters a huge amount... i think I am at this intersection of my life where I am just...Stuck. my friend, i won't say his name, he doesn't read this, nor will he ever...but I'll refer to him as GA. Either way,Ihaven't spoken to GA in, years, but I remember something he said to me when we were drunk on my 18th birthday. (yes...A while ago.) but he was talking about himself... he said; "...I feel...I feel like I am Fucked...I keep trying to tell people about this and no one gets it, hopefully you will. but I feel 'stuck'I feel 'Stuck' ...actually, I am 'Fucked' And there is a HUGE difference. the difference is that when you are 'Stuck' you 'can't find the answer' while if you are 'Fucked'; There IS No Answer." -For whatever reason, that really resignated with me, and it has stayed with me for all this time...since high school, and I graduated '07...which is kind of scary...

Tuesday, October 14, 2014


I am not sure what to do with myself. Born in 1988 Give or take. You are not crying for me- oh argentina. when you smile- you smile with all of your teeth at once. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh Tokyo Police Club-----okay- now the actual Blog entry starts; Alright- well, I am really in the situation of not knowing what to do with myself. I can just go through life and be bored, i dunno, I feel like I might commit suicide if i do that....I realize that I may have mentioned killing myself right there, and I don't Actually ever want to kill myself, or hurt ANYONE for that matter. In fact, it almost seems that committing suicide is something that lazy people do because they feel pain, or don't see a point to anything (or whatever your situation is) and they (more or less) say "fuck it" and "get acquainted with 'Dirty Harry'." Either way, my depression is just boredom [I'm sure] I am in bed most mornings when I wake up and I think: "What is the point of getting out of bed?" Not in a "Eff the World" sort of way, more of- Bored, I actually have NOTHING to do if I get out of bed. i need something or someone and to make it clear- I AM NOT going to hurt/kill myself or anyone else...EVER. So if you read the first few lines of this, freaked out, then skimmed to the end, I should write more often... ...pokemon...