Live

there are a few fonts to choose on this blog, and that's about it. not that it matters....at all... but i'd rather write in Futura, or whatever it's called.
when i am at home (despite the fact that i have a  job that takes up most of tuesday and thursday) which is most of the time, i bother other people online. not like a court order for me to stay away from them or anything...well...who knows.

I think I just miss having friends there all the time.
but before was too much crap had gone down for me to try to mend things, now too much time has gone by, so i have to ignore that group of friends. my old group would hate my newer group of friends... but i mean, when I was with my old group of friends I was smoking, drinking a lot, EVERY weekend, normally more often than just the weekend. none of us had fun like we used to. most of them were getting into hard drugs (which i had no interest in.)

either way. i think my life is going down a better road, as shitty as it may seem, i am confident that there are brighter days ahead.

Capital Writing

after pursuing the same girl during and after high school i have come to the point where i have been bothering her for that long that i am (more or less) sure that she wants nothing to do with me.

her reasonaing for this is because i a "too negative"

my "negativity"is realistic negativity, and no matter how you look at it, it's how i write, read anything i have written, it reaks of realistic observations (or; "negative observations.")

i have liked this girl for four years, but i don't see myself writing fluff for the sake of a few smooches. though, another way of thinking about it, is that i can really buddy up to her, get  into a relationship with her, love her and such, and through the natural coarse of time we'lll break up for one reason or another, i'll be heartbroken, and i'll have a bit of capital writing under my belt. 

either way ill have some shitto go through.  

02-04-09

Dreams

I  just thought about it and i have Moleskine after Molskine notebook filled with dreams i've had.
I used to wake up, get my notebook, and write down whatever dream i had had that night.
though i haven't written down my dreams for a while for whatever reason.
i don't dream as often and i don't remember them as well.
I don't know if this is because of the medication I am on, or because i just don't do it as often,  so my mind is sort of out of practice.

if you don't record your dreams, i would recommend it, it's interesting to go back later and read them, as well as  trying to make sense of it all.

if you want my honest opinion, sure i believe that SOME dreams have relevance, but I would say that most of your dreams are just randomness.
for example: When you are talking to someone in polite conversation, you sensor yourself, in the sense that if you are speaking with the queen of England. you aren't going to blurt out nasty 4-lettered words for no reason(...or most wouldn't)

this is the same for dreaming. in everyday life you probably wouldn't think random thoughts that go nowhere. [now i realize that everyone is random from time to time, but i am talking about the REALLY random thoughts.]
it's self censorship via yourself and realizing that certain thoughts are pointless and get you nowhere.
now, the dreams that people have are [what i think] the mind uncensored. You just think whatever.
and then you end up with wacky dreams.

Vinyl

My vinyl player is acting strange. it is slowing down and speeding up at random points with new sort of indication or anything.
i'm not sure if i should buy a new one or pay for a repair...i'll find out tomorrow when i get off of work.

MOAR

I have to start writing more when I am in the mood to write. otherwise I just end up with a two-sentence synopsis of my day, which just ends up sounding lame.
When I am in the mood to write, i can write about almost anything and just go on and on just  shoot out bull that doesn't sound too bad.
I actually think that is what is happening with the book I am writing; I am attempting to stay away from any bull, so it is going VERY slowly, which I am guessing means that I am a bad writer. but writing is one of the few things that make me very happy when i do it. so whether or not I am any good at it, I will continue writing, I will continue writing this blog and pretend that Someone is reading.

Keck (pt.2)

Today was my first day at Keck USC medical center. It was good.  But it was tiring to say the least. I am more or less a lab tech...in other words I'm a lab bitch. But it's still an interesting experience. And I am excited to go next Thursday.

Queen and Country

Britain is Repossesing the U.S.A.

A Message from John Cleese

To the citizens of the United States of America:

In light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majest Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.

1. Then look up aluminium, and check the pronuciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skippping half the letters, and the suffix -ize will be replaced by the suffix -ise.

Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

3. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize. You will relearn your original nation anthem, God Save The Queen.

4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The face that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.

Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enoguh to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enoguh to handle a gun.

6. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public. 

7. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. WHen we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

8. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables.
Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humor.

9. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roguhly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.

10. You will learn to make real chips, Those things you call French Fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly caled crisps. Real chips are thick cut, friend in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

11. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager.
South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting Nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of British Commonwealth - see what it did for them.

12. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast Enlgish actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters.
Watching Andie McDowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

13. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twently seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies). Don't try Rugby - The South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you, like they regularly thrash us.

14.Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

15. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

16. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquistion of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

17. Daily Tea Time begins promply at 4 pm with proper cups, never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; strawberries in season.

God save the Queen.

Only He can.

John Cleese